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Raising Bi-Racial Kids


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Hi from Nassau, Bahamas. Stumbled across your article while reading something else. I think you're overthinking, if there is such a thing. There is no special way to raise a bi-racial or any type of child. You just raise a child. Maybe it's a cultural thing but I've never understood this 'confusion' some people claim mixed/bi/multi-racial children seem to have. Yes, I am proud of the mix that I am, and all the assorted family members that provided a bit of this or that to create that mix.


wow seems like you have many issues with yourself to even take the time out to care wether you child will be indentified as black or biracial or whatever......how about let the child grow up and decide on her own. get over it. most black people can care less about what biracial ppl claim! nor do most of us think they are more attractive but obviously you do because you clearly have issues with your own skin


I totally understand!

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best wishes


hi, i wish you the best in raising your daughter, and i think because you are putting a lot of thought into it beforehand, you will likely do well. i agree with you that it is important not to minimize either side of her heritage, and maybe that's the key.

it's her family heritage, as well as her own individuality that's important, not a color thing. and color isn't the only issue in growing up, some things can be worse, such as in my situation, dysfunctional parents (immature, uninvolved, emotionally abusive).


I'm in a slightly different place but am also sorta concerned. My sister in law recently moved in with us and is likely going to be divorcing her husband. Given the fact that he's never been the most involved person, my niece won't really have anyone to help solidify and explore what that part of her heritage means to her.

I'll worry more about that when we can get her to stop reaching across the table at dinnertime though. She's been sorta isolated because of other issues, so she's got a year or two before that kind of thing starts to hit in first grade or second grade. I think. :P


Hello Ms. Carter,

First off congratulations on your pregnancy. =) I wish you the best and hope you give birth to a healthy baby.

As for your concerns, well I think you are thinking too much about this whole thing. For example, your concerns about expectations of your daughter (e.g. comparing her to Halle & Obama). Do not forget that your daughter is going to be her own person, meaning there are many decisions in her life that she is going to make on her own. Your job is simply to guide her and advise her but ultimately she will choose the course of her own life.

I think it is important for you to help her understand what it means to be biracial in America. I think you should make it clear to her that she is half black and half white but also let her know that this is America and so most people will view her as more black than white.

I am sure she will come to you with a lot of questions and provide her with honest answers. The worst thing you can do is to pretend that race doesn't matter because it does.

I think you should try and search for a community that is more diverse, as CH suggested. Also try joining some kind of support group online or wherever for black women raising biracial children. Those women can probably provide you with the best advice on this matter.

And don't forget to pray. God provides us with the best answers.


I am of mixed background, Mexican and French. I have children that are mixed with Black. I figured I would raise them as I was raised, instilled with morals, values, generally to just be good people. My parents helped me by explaining how I could be viewed by others. Drawing upon this and my life experiences helped me figure out my place in life. Even more important, I had no restrictions on who and what I could be. Not to be limited by societies views of race or stereotypes. I truly do consider myself to be American of Mexican and French background. For my children it is much the same. We explained to them and better yet we exposed them to both backgrounds. I wish you the best of luck and dont get hung up with what everyone thinks, just do what you feel is best, raise her to be a good woman. It will all turn out ok.


Stumbled across your post while reading about Michael Jackson's paternity controversy (his kids do not look Bi-racial at ALL!), and I 1000% agree with your observations. I'm African-American but went to school that were 97% white, so I don't "relate" to black people or have black friends at all. However, unlike a Bi-racial person who is generally given "a choice" to associate with either group, I was never able to truly enter the White social-sphere either since they wouldn't accept me. Thus I don't have any white friends either.

I married a white man from Eastern Europe 9yrs ago, and now we finally had a child but I'm terrified about how to raise this boy so that he can feel comfortable with BOTH and ALL groups. People are naive, but RACE DOES MATTER, and this is why only 2% of marriages in America are bi-racial, and the vast majority of those are Hispanic-White and Asian-White. Anyway, people make comments about my son being "a pretty baby", which makes me cringe (thankfully he's a boy, so hopefully these will go away), and in order to be in a good school district we just bought a house in a Suburb of D.C. that is only 5% Black.

To make a long story short, I am TORMENTED about what to do to give my son and future children a positive view of being Black, because honestly, I don't want them to see themselves as "Bi-racial", as I find that most who self-classify that way tend to actually HATE every bit of their blackness. I want my kids to be like Barack Obama and proud of their Blackness and to marry Black too. And so, we have this beautiful house with a Garden that I love, but now I'm thinking we might have to move to expose our kids to more diversity. My suburb is Diverse with about 20% Asians, but simply not Black enough. Only thing, is that the school districts with a lot of black students have poor academics, so I am incredibly torn torn torn about this. :-(


I'm an African American mom of two bi-racial kids. Because I am very dark (I look...African) and my children are very light (my daughter looks totally White) we get stared at a lot. But, when I'm out in public I don't have the time to worry about what others think of our family because I'm too busy being a mom...keeping my kids in line so they don't bicker with each other, keeping their manners in check, making sure they follow safety rules, making sure they're enjoying themselves. We do not live in a diverse community. It's affluent and mostly White, but I would never move anywhere else unless I felt their safety was in danger. They are citizens of the world and it is up to them to define themselves as they grow older because the world can slap any old label on you that they want. I'm confidant in who I am and I am a strong Black woman from a lineage of strong, Black women. I know my children will be self-assured and proud because they have me as their mom.

Last, I feel America puts too much emphasis on looks in general and we are becoming a brain-dead society. We emphasize education and character in our household because those are the keys to living a fulfilling and happy life.


Oops, it appears the person before me is named Chrystal but we're two different people. Thank you.

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